Dark Season came – dark magic with it,
So let this tale inform you all
Of heroes’ deeds and
shocking cock-ups evil cunning,
When on Swordvale undead did fall.
But lò, who are these
hapless happy heroes?
power-mad half troll, Orlanth’s weapon-thane,
horny, skiving bastard, Yinkin’s wily huntsman
greedy wee arsehole! trader prince of fame.
The night was black, the snow was driving.
eyeing up the cows, guarding well the house,
A muffled sound above did gather,
And the others did he rouse.
Through Valind’s fury did they battle,
Up above, a corpse they found:
Fairest maiden, but with ugly
Talon marks, her throat around.
grunts and grumbles care and sorrow they did bring her
Down into the firelight.
rummaged through her treasures, was by sorrow unmanned,
Hungry Cutrid had a bite death-staves did recite.
At once the heroes knew they needed,
The magic of Ty Kora Tek
So that the
stiff they could be shot of maiden’s soul be rested
Thus Cutrid to Swordvale must trek.
Around him Valind’s demons raging:
A blizzard, howling, did they blow.
Eventually Undaunted, Cutrid’s rippling muscles,
Pushed him through the ice and snow.
Back at the stead, the two were
A stench of evil filled the air.
And from the body of the maiden,
An undead beast attacked the pair.
to reach the exit like twenty alynx,
Eorkan rushed to save his
The monster had the strength of giants,
Teeth to bite, talons to
And yet, through epic
Did they hit upon a scheme.
Elmal’s light’s to undead hateful,
So they’d cage it by sunbeam.
Thus trapped it waited helpless, raging,
While Cutrid sought to rouse the King.
ageing psycho noble monarch swiftly mustered
Weaponthanes, help for to bring.
They thundered to the stead, bright-bladed:
Thanos, with his famous skill
slaughtering quite helpless victims fighting hell-spawned foes of Humakt
Undead beast did swiftly kill.
The maiden form so vile possessèd
Did come from the Colymar.
The heroes’ stead was truly ruined:
Less home, and more abattoir.
As one the heroes then stepped forth,
As Thanos them did volunteer Manfully did volunteer
The maiden to take back to her kin,
Through the winter so severe.
rumpyallant band of heroes then
Set off, though folk of Goodvale thought
stupid noble to be setting out
On eve of troll god’s winter court.